The saddest Chinese people: the less capable they are, the more they care about face

The saddest Chinese people: the less capable they are, the more they care about face. In Chinese tradition, the word face has risen to a cultural level. Lu Xun once wrote: Face is the center...

In the Chinese tradition, the word face has risen to the cultural level. Lu Xun once wrote: Face is the program of Chinese spirit. As long as we grasp this, it is like pulling out the pigtails in the past. The whole body will move with the program. During the Spring Festival, people who work hard outside return to their hometowns one after another. The tradition of "returning home in fine clothes" requires that resources and identity must be realized within these days. Even if you don't do well, you often have to act like you've made a lot of money so that you won't be looked down upon. Therefore, these days during the Chinese New Year have become the most important time for Chinese people to save face. The Chinese people who were tricked by the love of face were miserable. In the 1960s and 1970s, the country was not wealthy. Chickens and ducks were as expensive as cattle. It was rare for people to eat some meat. One time during the Chinese New Year, a boy went to a relative's house and ate the chicken legs. He was picked up by his relatives and received a good beating. The reason is that a red string is tied to the chicken legs at a relative's house, indicating that they are borrowed from the villagers. The village also relies on the few marinated chicken legs to take turns as a favor. Once the favor is done, the chicken legs must be returned. Even in an era when survival is very difficult, face cannot be given up, let alone today. Some time ago, "How much does it cost to have a decent New Year" became a hot search topic on Weibo.

Data source: Weibo pictures Among the bills posted by netizens, various “face accounts” account for the majority. In addition to spending a lot of money to buy yourself a decent outfit, giving gifts, parties, and red envelopes are also pitfalls that cannot be avoided. "Reciprocity with courtesy" has become "reciprocity with courtesy." Some netizens complained in the forum: After getting married to my husband, giving gifts during the New Year is a huge expense. There are six uncles, so they have to prepare tobacco, alcohol and fruits, and those who have grandchildren have to give them lucky money. Coupled with the relatives on my husband's side... I can't even sustain myself with a few months' salary. It’s not just about giving more, it’s also about giving less. That store only gives high-end tobacco and alcohol as gifts. Our family can’t give fruit gift boxes, right? This family’s red envelope is 300, and our family’s red envelope is 500. The national New Year's money map shows that children in Fujian can receive an average of 3,500 New Year's money, and even as high as 12,000 Yuan in Putian, Fujian.

Gritting his teeth, he gave thick red envelopes to the children of his seventh aunt and eighth aunt. I gritted my teeth again and gave imported health products of bird's nest and shark fin to my relatives and colleagues. While feeling sorry for my wallet, I still wanted to give the things away with a smile on my face, waving my hands and saying, "It's all small money." It can be said that "every Spring Festival is a time when money is attracted". Being brave for a moment seems to have earned enough face for oneself. But the end result of pretending to be rich can only be: touching your shriveled wallet, silently huddled in the corner and crying. The wine table is the hardest hit area when fighting for face. Drinking and bragging can be done without delay. Class reunions are often listed as one of the focuses of complaints during the Spring Festival. From time to time, there will be a scene like this: During the meal, everyone brags openly and secretly about their greatness, and often talks about their luxury cars, mansions and big projects at hand. When paying the bill, Zhang San and Li Si stood up excitedly and shouted, "Come on, I'll come on," but no one opened their wallet. If you brag too much, it will only make people laugh at most, but if you drink too much, it may kill someone. "Freezing Point Weekly" once published an incident in which a student from a prestigious school died due to drinking. Freshman Wang Yaodong went to a bar with his classmates. According to regulations, if he could drink six 300ml cocktails within 3 minutes, he would be free of charge for consumption up to 500 yuan. Six "special cocktails" were placed in the center of the stage. When the young man drank his fifth glass of wine, he retched a few times, walked down the steps, and waved his hands. The people in the audience were shouting loudly, and many people pointed their mobile phones at the young man. The voices of "Come on! Come on!" and the clapping and applauding became louder and louder. Later, he drank the sixth glass of wine, and then, "his body began to lose control, his feet shook inexplicably, then his head tilted, and he fell heavily."

He never woke up again. Before drinking, Wang Yaodong told his friends that he "has a good capacity for drinking and can drink". But his sister said that in the year after his college entrance examination, his younger brother entered the KTV for the first time and his face turned red after drinking one or two beers. At that time, my younger brother said to himself: "It's very embarrassing and very ugly." In the abnormal "drinking" culture, the more people can drink, the more face they have. In various gatherings, if you don't drink, you won't save face for others. Only by drinking to death can you show "sincerity" and "respect." Some people say that the wine table is the politics of men, and a glass of wine contains the invisible hierarchy and hierarchy. So even if you break your teeth and swallow it, you still have to drink it as hard as you can.

There is only a thin line between love of face and vanity. In fact, people are all about self-esteem. In normal times, many people will put a lot of thought into what clothes to wear, what watches to wear, and what bags to carry, and carefully select them so that they can leave a good impression on others. There is nothing wrong with this. What I am afraid of is that I am vain and greedy when I have no conditions, but I am pretending to be fat. A rural child in Guizhou was admitted to a university in the city, and his family saved money to support his studies. The TV at home is broken, and I have no money to buy a new one. I don’t have much furniture, but it was all given by relatives. When this child came to the city, he was afraid of being looked down upon by others, so he kept asking for money from his family. There were many dinner parties, karaoke singing, and various entertainment activities among classmates. When he met a beggar on the road, he took out a hundred-dollar bill and put it into the beggar's bowl without saying a word. His classmates praised him for his kindness. But this 100 yuan can be used carefully by the parents at home for more than a week. Some people say that what kind of life you live, whether you eat, drink and have fun or live on a tight budget, what kind of things you buy, whether dozens of street stall goods or tens of thousands of famous brands, determine how others see you. But is this really the case? People who have no ability cannot prove themselves through anything else, so they can only live a seemingly luxurious life to make everyone think that they have entered the "upper class". This kind of "strong self-esteem" built up by money is like a soap bubble, which bursts when a needle pricks it. Too much face-saving is just because there is no "face". Last year, a well-known anchor in the e-sports live broadcast circle "announced his death" due to domestic violence, which caused an uproar. In a qualifying match, Death Announcement had an unpleasant relationship with his teammates. The two exchanged insults until the end of the game, and the qualifying match ended in failure. The death announcement said to his teammates: He ruined my mentality. His girlfriend who was watching the game advised him, just block some players. They will probably live broadcast. It would be silly to be seen chatting like this. As soon as these words came out, the death announcement suddenly lifted the table, and while cursing: "Do you deserve a beating? Believe it or not, I will kill you," while beating his girlfriend. While sobbing, my girlfriend repeatedly said, "I'm doing this for your own good too." The death announcement was still not relieved, and he smashed everything he could. Wang Xiaobo has a famous saying: "All human suffering is essentially anger at one's own incompetence." His girlfriend's words "That's stupid" hit his sensitive nerves, making him feel that he had lost all face, so he vented his emotions through violence. The more hopeless you are, the more afraid you are of being exposed. That thin layer of face is a shield to hide your inferiority complex.

There was an intern who took over the planning of a project with the team. During the division of labor, the team leader repeatedly emphasized that if there is anything he does not know how to do, he must mention it in time. However, two days before the deadline, the things the interns handed in were so confusing that they couldn't be used at all. The leadership almost collapsed, and all the intern work had to be done over again. If it was not completed within two days, the efforts of all team members would be in vain. All team members stayed awake for two nights to help the intern. He did stupid things for the sake of face, delayed himself, and almost led to a big mistake. David Ogilvy, known as the "Father of Advertising", created one of the world's largest communication groups. This legendary figure was once a low-level salesman, and his job was to sell cooking utensils door to door. For a salesman, being rejected or even being scolded is a normal experience. Some people choose to quit, and some choose to tear off their face and find a path one step at a time. What is more terrifying than having nothing is a person who has nothing but a heart of glass. The famous sociologist Fei Xiaotong said in "Russian China" that China is a society of acquaintances. This kind of face can not only be seen, but also used. It is a person's resource and identity. Like a ripple, rippling around and around. This may be one of the reasons why Chinese people care about face. However, transactions are always exchanges of equal value. How much weight you have will determine how much face others will sell you. There is no need to save face. There are too many people who work hard to be respected by others, climb up step by step, and want to live the best life in the eyes of others. But the world’s evaluation standards are always determined by values, not secular perspectives. If you calm down and think about it, you will find that 99% of the things that happen to you every day are meaningless to others. Even if a celebrity cheats and gives birth to a child, it can only occupy the public eye for a few days. I like a passage very much: When you put down your face to make money, it means that you are sensible; when you use money to earn back your face, it means that you have succeeded; when you can use your face to make money, it means that you are already a person; when you are still drinking and bragging, not knowing how to pretend to understand, and only loving face, it means that this is how you will be in this life. Everyone has something they want to pursue. Don't mind being disgraced too much. Just remember to let go of the unnecessary shame and live for yourself. Some netizens left a message @ Medical Beauty - Dr. Zhang Yanrui: Most people who care too much about face live for others to see. They always want to live like others or the kind of person they want in their eyes and mouths, but they can't find themselves and live a different life. People who love Li Zi rarely seek approval from others. A plump person lives out his or her self-esteem, self-confidence, and sense of security. People who blindly seek from outside may be able to obtain some resources at a certain stage and within a certain period of time, but in the end they will not be able to go far due to internal scarcity. To put it bluntly, live in the present, strive to improve your cognitive level, break the old self, and be good at learning to make progress. That kind of progress is not a matter of getting promoted and raising more money to make more money. Material is only one aspect of harvest. The most important thing is the height of life and the spiritual motivation to set an example for future generations. It is the foundation of a person's progress. @无码的鸟: When you put down your dignity to make money, it means you are sensible; when you use money to earn back your face, it means you have succeeded; When you can make money by using your face, it means you are already a person; when you are still drinking, bragging, pretending to understand, and only love face, it means that you will be like this for the rest of your life. @lazykoala Mrs.: In terms of human relations, I have a very strong mentality. In fact, I know how to drink, but since I started working, I will never drink. The general manager of the annual meeting went around the table and offered toasts, but he couldn't persuade me. It turned out that if I didn’t drink, I would stop drinking. After a long time, my colleagues all knew that I did not drink. When I ate with clients, my colleagues told me that she indeed never drinks. As a woman, I get more respect in the workplace than a girl who sacrifices her life to accompany her drinking. I work in the construction industry, and there are mostly men in this industry. When there are more people, there will be more birds. At dinner parties, I always meet men who treat women as escorts. But no one dared to mess with me. Because from the time I drank, they discovered that I was determined to speak my mind. Ivanni @老子 once said: A country that relies on etiquette to maintain relationships will eventually lose its etiquette and music; in this small place like ours, when we are full moon, one year old, three years old, and 12 years old, we are all having banquets in restaurants. I think it is a modern way to fight the autumn wind! ! ! @ Chao Hua Xi Shi: My husband is like this, he is much older than me, he is glass-hearted, he loves face, he doesn’t know where he will be offended, he is harsh on others, complains and shirks. I don't like chocolate, but I will always buy chocolate, and they say I'm greedy. I have to manage money again and again, but I don’t dare to accept the child’s education fund and the burden of buying a house. They always attack me, scold me for being petty and stingy. @touchthatblue: I have a deep understanding. I don’t know whether people are too impetuous or care about face more and more. An irrelevant word can make people angry, and a kind look is considered sarcastic to them. Some people say it's hypocritical to live casually, and they say it's pretentious to change cars and so on. Hey, why can't friends be normal among themselves? It makes me helpless. @日光青城: I need to write more and read more articles like this to break down the masks of the Chinese people. I really hate this kind of life and customs. When we meet during the New Year, the first sentence is always where do I work, what do I do, how much is my salary, how am I, how much is wrong, and what does it have to do with you?